Hey babe! Ever heard of The Drop?

No, not a new synthwave track or you dropping a plate. I’m talking about sub drop and dom drop the emotional (and sometimes physical) crash that can hit after an intense BDSM scene or play session.

Yep. Even after the best scene, when everyone’s riding high on endorphins, connection, and maybe some new rope skills, you can suddenly hit a wall. Here’s what that looks like, why it happens, and how to handle it with care.

What is a Sub drop?

In simple terms, “The Drop” is a post-scene crash. It’s when your body and emotions take a bit of a nosedive after a BDSM session. It can happen to both subs and doms, although it’s often talked about more in the submissive context.

You know that wild, floaty, euphoric feeling during a scene? The endorphins, adrenaline, oxytocin? The mental headspace that feels like you’re glowing?

Well… eventually, those chemicals start to wear off. And when they do, you drop.

Sub Drop: The emotional fallout

Sub drop is the most commonly discussed, and it can hit hard.

What it can feel like:

• Sadness or moodiness
• Feeling abandoned or unloved
• Physical fatigue or even flu-like symptoms
• Anxiety, insecurity, or shame
• Needing reassurance or comfort

Why it happens:

• Your body just came off a chemical high
• Vulnerability from the scene is settling in
• Emotional processing is kicking in

This is totally normal. You were open, raw, real—and your brain is now saying, “Whoa, what just happened?”

Dom Drop: Yes, it’s real too

Let’s not forget the Tops. Dom drop is just as real, and it doesn’t make you any less strong, experienced, or dominant.

What dom drop can feel like:

• Guilt or doubt about how the scene went
• Emotional crash from being “in charge” for so long
• Exhaustion—mental, physical, emotional
• Feeling disconnected from the sub afterward

For Doms, the drop often includes a sense of responsibility—“Did I go too far? Did they really enjoy it? Did I mess up?” You may look confident as hell during a scene, but after? Vulnerability has a sneaky way of creeping in.

Planning for the drop

The drop doesn’t always hit immediately, it might sneak up on you hours or even days later. Just understand it can happen.

Before your play time:

• Talk about aftercare needs in your negotiation
• Be honest about emotional triggers or recent stress

After your play time:

• Stick around for aftercare (even if it’s just a 10-minute decompression or hug)
• Follow up in the next day or two
• Don’t panic if emotions come up, it’s normal

Final Thoughts: You’re not broken, You’re brave

If you’ve ever felt The Drop and thought, “What’s wrong with me?”—let me be clear: Nothing. Feeling emotions after an intense experience is part of being human. You let yourself feel. You let yourself go. You need a moment to understand what happened.

So, treat yourself (and your partner) with care. Build your emotional resilience like you build your toy bag—intentionally and with love. It wasn’t till I got that , that I understood what I was missing out on for so long.

Takeaway Time:

It doesn’t matter if you’re the Dom, the sub, or switching daily remember this: The scene doesn’t end when the play stops. Your brain and feelings are still catching up. So make room for softness, for grounding, for connection.

Drop happens. Let’s just catch each other when it does.

Got a drop story or your go-to aftercare tip? Come share it in the comments or your own kinky journal entry. We’re all learning together.

Stay curious, stay safe

HBJ